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My name is Arti Kumari. I live in a small village 15 km away from the district center of Buxar in Bihar.

We have around 800 houses in my village belonging to different communities, and each of them live in different sections of the village. The Luhars and Shahs live in the eastern section, Dalits in the southern section, the Muslims and Yadavs in the western section and the Brahmins in the northern section of the village. Previously, Brahmins were the ones who held most of the land in the village and would lease it to people from other castes and communities to live in. Thus our village always has had people from different castes and communities residing. But nowadays the landowning community (Brahmins) do not (want to) lease their lands to people from other castes.

This year I completed my high secondary schooling and will be taking admission into a Bachelor of Arts course. However, every time I broached the subject of admissions, my family members were silent on this topic as the financial condition at home before COVID-19 was not good and it has only become worse now due to the lockdown. So, now I have approached FAT for assitance for getting admission in college and pursue my further studies. I have spoken to everyone at home about this and they are supportive of the decision. My parents are fond of teaching their children and do not discriminate between boys and girls. They want us to study and then work as well but the only issue at home is that of finances. Due to COVID 19, I also could not help my family financially.

Before the COVID-19 lockdown, I was associated with an organisation, YP Foundation where I was a peer educator. I used to conduct meetings with girls in my village about violence, physical change in our body, gender discrimination, sex education and decision making ability. Now, due to the lockdown, I am unable to do this work. I used to have these meeting mainly with girls from the Muslim community who live in the western section of the village. Some of these girls are of my age and some are younger than me. I used to talk about the different topics with the girls and also play and laugh with them. Now we miss each other. We have studied together when we were younger and have been friends since our childhood. Even though we no longer study together but we did such meetings instead. We used to have a lot of fun together. Because of the lockdown, all such meetings are cancelled now and I am no longer in touch with these girls.

Sometimes when I visit the Muslim locality, the younger girls ask me when we will start the meetings again. I have asked them to be patient and tell them, I will come to meet them and take a meeting once the lockdown is lifted. I too miss them. I used to celebrate Eid with the Muslim girls who are my friends. I used to go to eat meethi sewai (sweet made of vermicelli) at their house. Unfortunately, I could not do it this time due to the lockdown. Neither could I celebrate Eid festivities with them. I could not go to my friend’s house and I miss the old days when everything was normal.

I also work with FAT. I do photography and video making there. Earlier I used to make videos and do screening of these videos in villages. But that work too has been put on hold due to the lockdown. Initially I had no information about COVID 19. FAT organised a meeting to give us information on COVID 19. But at that time, I did not have internet access, and I used to go to my friend’s house to use her connection to join video conferencing on Zoom to get more information on COVID. After several days of going to my friend’s palace my mother got upset that I was spending too much time away from home and at my friend’s place. When I explained to my mother, the reason, she became more supportive. I also shared this issue with FAT team members, and they provided me internet allowance so that I could attend meetings online.

I also sometimes feel stuck, as I have not been able to take any concrete steps forward on various fronts. There are so many hurdles to overcome today. I had also taken training from the Bihar Skill Development Mission. After that I had found an opportunity to apply for a job where I had to handle the product selling counter. My training was completed successfully, but due to the lockdown, my interview could not go through. I was looking forward to building a career and getting college education but COVID-19 acted as a deterrent to my aim. I feel sad now that I lost the opportunity to get a job.

Earlier, I used to go to work at our shop. I am no longer able to go now. These days my younger brother has also started telling me not to go to the shop. He is also stuck at home, he can’t go for his tution classes anymore. His studies have stopped because of the lockdown and his exams are all postponed for January 2021. I don't always listen to my brother’s dissatisfaction at going to the shop. There is no such special reason for me to go to the shop and I do not like it too much, but I still sometimes go there, just so that there is a change in what I am doing.

My family’s problems today are the same as they were before the lockdown. During the lockdown, my family was struggling to get food. I was able to receive help from the FAT Relief Fund, for dry ration, and that helped my family a lot. Earlier my father could go to the local market and easily purchase things, but it was no longer possible, as there are timings for markets to be open during the lockdown. If he reaches on time, he gets groceries and other goods. So during lockdown my father left early in the morning without having breakfast to get groceries. Everyone has to follow the rules after COVID-19. The police have also been very strict and if we were caught without wearing a mask, they would reprimand us. The rule of compulsory wearing of masks has started from April due to COVID-19 precautions. The situation has suddenly changed so drastically, it sometimes surprises me. It is nothing like before.

I want everything to go back to normal soon. I hope my B.A education resumes, everyone starts going back to their work, and I get a chance once again to visit my friends to have meethi sewai (sweet made of vermicelli) at their home on Eid.

Written by Arti Kumari, Buxar, Bihar
This article is part of an Livelihood Action Project of FAT with young girls from Bihar and
Jharkhand to enable them to become professional story writers. The training for story writting was done by Purwa Bharadwaj, and she edited and finalised the story in Hindi. The English translation of this story was done by an intern from TISS, Aqsa and final edits by Priyanka Sarkar.