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I Punita Kumari Bettiah, live in a village called Chhabaria in Bihar. There are 6 members in my family. Mostly Singh, Shah and people from Dalit community resides in my village. I am 17 years old and I have some problems with my leg. I was 4 years old when I fell from the terrace and broke my leg. I recovered but after 4 years my pain arose again. My mother and father took me to the hospital but the doctor could not diagnose my illness. The doctor tied two bricks with my leg and hung it , because of which my one leg is shorter than the other one. Because of the wrong treatment I face issues in walking. I wanted to go to school so I managed to walk with the help a stick. The students in the school teased me, called me disabled. I would cry because of that and would sit in a corner and think for a miracle to happen so that I could ride a bicycle.  My father could not bear to see all this so he sold his farm and took me to Gourakhpur for my treatment. There I went under a surgery.  At the age of 17 I have gone through 5 operations, my parents are now tired of spending so much money. The lockdown has increased their problems, my treatment has also stopped. Once we tried to consult a doctor online but that also didn’t happen. My health deteriorated. Due to lockdown no one could go anywhere. There is a hospital far from the village but that was closed as well and there was no conveyance to commute. My village has a primary health centre which is not in a good condition. I was taken there for my treatment, it did help me. 

FAT organisation has helped us. We got Rs 5000/- from which we 4 brother sisters could manage our education. In private they were asking for fees how would it have been possible? Our studies have also stopped. Before the lockdown I started working with an organisation but due to this lockdown everything has been put to stop. In time of need I asked them to pay my salary but they started avoiding, this is how two months passed. When I called them they said if you need your salary you come and collect from us, we wont come to your house to give the same. They did not care about my misery but its alright. 

When I was a student I use to talk to a boy, and I liked him as well. He was 17 years old. During the lockdown when my father started to talk about my marriage, I spoke to the boy for marriage, we were from the same caste.  He said that he is willing to marry me, I thought when my father is thinking about my marriage at least I can get married to the man of my own choice. I haven’t told my mother, father about the boy, one day he called and said that his father would not agree for the marriage. I said to him straight “It's you who needs to marry not your father.”

He said actually “the amount of dowry my father would ask your father won't agree to pay, and moreover you are disabled which is why my father won't agree to the marriage all the more ''. In this entire matter my family did not speak anything. The idea of marriage could not proceed because of my disability. I thought the boy liked me as well, but he did not. That's because he was physically able and I wasn’t. I did not want to marry him but because of the pressure from my family I thought let me ask the boy I like. I feel that one should not love.

Earlier my father focused on my studies but now he does not want to even listen about it, because of my one mistake that I have not committed. In my village a girl and a boy were in love and one day the villagers saw them together and that was their mistake, now because of which even my father was after my life for my marriage. People in the society started telling my father “You should get your daughter married. Firstly she is disabled and if she does something wrong everyone will laugh at you.”

One day my father went to see a boy for my marriage , I tried to speak to my father and he said “Now I don’t have so much money to bear the expenses of your studies and your treatment.” I told my father that “I wont do anything that will hurt your dignity and respect, let me complete my matric exams and then we can think about it.”

Somehow I managed to procrastinate my marriage, but I don’t know what will happen after this. The schools are closed due to lockdown and I don’t know how much studies can be done from home?  School was 2km away because of which at least we could step outside, I cannot ride a bicycle so I would use a lift on someone else’s bicycle to go to school, but now that cannot be an option anymore. I think about my friends and their support and the bicycle ride often, it feels good!

I did not go out much and if I did because of my physical formation people would laugh at me. I really felt bad, but I won't make this lockdown a lockdown for my life.  I am very happy I am starting my education again, I have started to dream about bicycles, if I get a wheelchair I would fly everywhere.